The Vodacom Bulls hosted the Hollywoodbets Sharks XV at Loftus Versfeld from 5pm on Saturday in the second Carling Currie Cup semi-final, here's how it went ...
4.56pm: Need a beer and it's 5 o'clock somewhere.
4.58: Bulls are wearing black armbands for Tannie Saartjie. RIP.
5pm: Kick-off by the Sharks, here ... we ... go! Good job the final will be played in Joburg, the pitch in Pretoria is looking a little ropey.
5.01: Some wonky camerawork to go with the (special) commentary.
5.03: First turnover by Cameron Hanekom for the Bulls. Sharks had a lot of ball but going side-to-side.
5.04: Nizaam Carr taken out in the air by his own winger Katlego Letebele, Carr wants to keep playing but ref AJ Jacobs tells him to sit and chill. Tough oke, because that was a hard landing.
5.06: Bulls much more dynamic on attack, constantly getting over the advantage line. They win a penalty and Johan Goosen goes for poles. 3-0 to the home side from right in front.
5.08: After some audio issues for the ref the Sharks kick-off and Emile van Heerden charges down Keagan Johannes' kick and dots down on the right. Siya Masuku converts and makes it 7-3 to the visitors.
5.10: Breathless start and I need another beer.
5.12: Fisty cuffs! Well, the 2024 version. The boys are simply getting to know each other a bit better. Ref gets his TV time by having a useless chat with the skippers.
5.13: Bulls are kicking deep and the Sharks back three are looking to run it back, this could be fun ...
5.14: Ruck penalty conceded by the Sharks and Bulls go for the touchline.
5.15: Johannes darts over after good line-out work by the Bulls, Sharks thought a maul was coming and missed the nippy scrummy.
5.16: Goosen converts, 10-7 to the Bulls.
5.17: Bulls don't stuff up the kick-off this time and get to halfway, much better.
5.19: Sharks strike back, Ethan Hooker (giggle, sorry) comes off his wing and crashes over after a line-out eight meters out. TMO hasn't had TV time so now we wait ... Disallowed for a knock in the maul, although it didn't go forward. Damn! That was good finish.
5.23: Massive battle at scrum-time. Going to be brutal everytime they pack down.
5.25: Great break from Letebele but Marcell Coetzee drops a simple pass (must have been eating popcorn during the TMO review) and a try is missed by the Bulls.
5.27: Bulls win a penalty from the resulting scrum and they go for poles.
5.28: Goosen adds three more points, 13-7 to the home side.
5.30: What a try! Hanekom takes a short ball at the line-out from Akker van der Merwe and sprints 35 meters before diving in at the corner. Brilliant move. Goosen converts and it's 20-7.
5.33: Another scrum so I have time to get another beer.
5.38: Sharks work their way down the field due to Bulls' lack of discipline and Bradley Davis gets over. Masuku misses the conversion but it's now 20-12 to the Bulls.
5.41: James Venter are you even human? What a try! Runs through the Bulls defence and dives (for fun) between the posts. Masuku converts and it's a one-point game, 20-19 to the home side with 10 minutes left in the half.
5.45: Bulls butcher a penalty, kick it dead when going for the touchline. Will that cost them?
5.48: Massive scrum by the Bulls and they earn a penalty good work by the fatties (no sure I can call them that anymore). They go for the line-out.
5.50: Great defence by the Sharks but a no arms tackle by Ntuthuko Mchunu means the Bulls have another penalty. Butch James is talking about tackling technique ...
5.51: Goosen has a broken nose but still kicks the penalty over and it's now 23-19 to the Bulls as the half-time hooter goes. Time to light the fire, have steak to braai.
6.01: Fire roaring, steak marinaded, seasoned and ready to go, time for another beer.
6.05: Goosen starts the second half.
6.06: Hanekom passed his HIA in the first half but he's down again, this time for blood but he looks dizzy, best to get him off, the URC is coming soon and his health is more important than any rugby game. The beast that is Celimpilo Gumede is back on off the bench.
6.10: Stravino Jacobs has been great for the Bulls on the wing today and he powers his way over for a deserved try after a quality scrum. Goosen converts and it's 30-19. Wonder if the young Sharks can come back from here?
6.12: Stedman Gans gives away a penalty and the Sharks go for the touchline, they are chasing tries now and from the line-out Coetzee gets a yellow for head-to-head contact on Venter. Sharks have to use their extra man now.
6.17: Carr asking for Venter to go for an HIA, going full football captain ...
6.18: Sharks are held up from the line-out maul, great maul defence by the Bulls again. They've been amazing all day.
6.21: Sharks are pushing hard but Bulls defence is holding firm. Sharks have a scum five meters out against a seven-man pack so this could be their moment, just need to stay calm, getting a little frantic.
6.25: The men from KZN butcher their chance from close but Hooker does what he does from deep and cuts through the Bulls defence to keep the Sharks in it. Masuku makes it a four-point game. Much better patience from the visitors.
6.28: Beer time, fire looking good. Should be ready soon.
6.30: Scrum penalty for the Sharks, first time they've got a call, not saying it was because of Trevor Nyakane but certainly not saying it wasn't. Sharks chasing another try and kick for touch.
6.33: Andre Esterhuizen puts the Sharks in the lead with 18 minutes to go, Masuku makes it 33-30 to the visitors. Sharks attack is pretty simple: give it to the big guys but eventually they find the Bok unmarked on the wing for a massive try.
6.37: Sharks defence is desperate and illegal. High hit, offside, tackling the nine ... lucky to only get one card but it's a red for Francois Venter because of his head-on-head hit on Jacobs. Other Jacobs (the one in lumo yellow) has no choice.
6.41: Butch talking about how not to tackle high is making me laugh ...
6.42: Great maul defence by the visitors as the home side knocks the ball on just before the tryline. This is getting more tense by the minute. Sharks scrum needs to be big here.
6.45: And they aren't, penalty five out for the Bulls. Should scrum again.
6.46: They do. Need another beer.
6.47: Another scrum penalty given away by the KZN side. They'll go again. Penalty try can't be far away.
6.48: And there's a yellow for Dian Bleuler who's just come on ... Mchunu back on for another scrum, Phepsi Buthelezi has to take a seat with the Sharks down to 13 men.
6.50: Somehow, somehow the Sharks survive and clear the ball up to near the halfway line. Going to be a long 10 minutes.
6.56: Another yellow for the Sharks (now down to 2) as Jordan Hendrikse goes to the bin for a dangerous tackle.
6.56: Bulls miss touch from the penalty but Coetzee steals it back, winning a penalty. Breathless stuff!
6.57: Sharks win a scrum from the line-out (not sure they want a scrum right now) but with five minutes to go they are hanging on ... Might need to put a backline player in to keep control of the ball.
6.59: They don't and it works(ish). Big kick from Lionel Cronje.
7.02: Bulls win another penalty and Goosen goes for poles to level the scores, bit strange against 12 players. But he nails it and it's 33-33 with two minutes to go.
7.03: Cronje kicks it dead from the kick-off and it's a scrum on halfway. Bulls licking their chops but Buthelezi will be back for this one.
7.04: This scrum is everything, both sides will be trying to win a penalty to secure victory. Scrums matter!
7.05: Bulls win the penalty ... Goosen points at the posts and it's all on him.
7.06: Goosen misses and we are going to extra-time. The drama never ends.
7.12: Game on! 10 minutes each way. Sharks still down to 13.
7.16: Cronje's old legs save the day as he just makes it to dot the ball down over the tryline. Looked like he was running on a treadmill but he got trhe job done. No big moves from either side at the start of extra-time but Hendrikse is back so the Sharks are at 14.
7.18: Litelihle Bester comes on for Venter after his 20 minute red card. 15 v 15 once again.
7.19: Fumbles, fumbles, fumbles. Bulls drop it, Sharks drop it. Both sides had a chance to do something special but can't hold onto the bar of soap.
7.21: Beer time, braai is ready to rumble.
7.24: Jacobs is through and breaks Sharks hearts as he scores for the Bulls. Boeta Chamberlain converts and the Bulls lead 40-33 at the break in extra-time.
7.26: Last 10 minutes of the semi starts, Sharks know they have to score, Bulls know they can't let that happen because a draw send the Sharks to the final.
7.29: Sharks get a 50/22. This isn't over.
7.32: Sharks knock it on and give the Bulls a chance to breathe in their 22. Scrum-time with five minutes to go.
7.35: Bad kick by Jacobs (his first mistake of the game) and the Sharks have a line-out 30m out.
7.37: Sharks have two penalties inside the 22 and tap and go before telling the ref which one they want to use so Esterhuizen's try doesn't count. They go for the line-out.
7.38: What a dummy from big Trevor! What a try for the big man. Sharks have a kick to level the scores and advance.
7.39: Cronje nails it and with less than a minute to go the Bulls need a score.
7.40: Did Gerbrandt Grobler take Letebele out at the kick-off? Yes. Penalty for the Bulls to win the game.
7.41: With the clock in the red Chamberlain falls short and the Sharks win because they scored more tries in the semi-final than the Bulls.
7.43: For those of you wondering, steak is going well on the braai ...
7.45: Bulls fans who don't know the rules are angry.
Not pretty but this is what makes the Currie Cup special. It's beautiful in it's brutality. Congrats to the Sharks who will face the Fidelity ADT Lions at Emirates Airline Park on Saturday at 4pm.
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